Wednesday, September 14, 2005

well...prelims and release of results are officially over...i was thinking maybe its time to let my hair down alittle....had been alittle edgy for the last 3 days....maybe its time for alittle reflection....

today was rather long for me cus i had so little sleep last night[soccer the reason]...u noe i saw 2 aspects of myself today....during different classes....i realised tht during amath....we were re taught trigo....ya...i was like...i noe this...so sianz...must listen for another hour...den during ss....i was like...hey...i screw up my sourced-base all the time....so maybe i should listen hard and maybe i can do better....den at the same time...i saw ppl behaving like how i was in amath....the 'i noe this...so this is useless and boring attitude' ...den i thought tht....arent we all like tht...when we r high n mighty...we r tht arrogent...when we r down and out...only den do we realise humility and listen to wad others had to say....the thought tht...God made us for excellence...tht God made leaders and teachers to guide us[they r only human....n imperfect like us]...y do we always refuse to listen...thinking we r so good....y we dun we take the chance to polish ourselves...like during amath when i started listening....i learn alittle...it was little but it was still knowledge added on....it never hurts to listen....no matter how much u noe...theres always something we can take away from lessons....n i tink we need to constantly remind ourselves tht....

i was thinking....maybe prelims is realli a test for me...i mean we all noe its a test...but i felt it was more of a test of my faith....tht whether i looked at the blessing or the blessor...i mean...i did my fair share of studying and believe me....i hav like gotten way higher for way less effort....but den as i look at my 21 points now....i just think of Job as a perfect example....who refused to blame God for his situation....he refused to give up hope....in fact...i tink tht i should realli thank God....i mean...for one....i seem to have this real sense of peace in me....tht even thou results are bad and i noe panic button is like inches away....yes...panic and start studying but not panic as in be discouraged and givee up and i realli just so thankful for tht....

i tink the prelims has realli opened up my eyes...i used to be rather happy go lucky...just whack it person...but after prelims...i tink i realli am able to see where my strengths and weaknesses lie....something i would brush u off for if u had asked me to pay attention to afew weeks ago....not realli as to wad subjects i m realli weak in...but realli to as...my position...my stand in my own life....for me...i realised tht life is not a huge playground....just being intelligent or being a one time success isnt gonna get u anywhere....i learnt tht life is somewhat like a displacement time graph....no matter how far u go...if u move in the wrong direction...u still end up being negative or a zero...i tink its important we should all strive for positive displacement ya....

alot of thoughts sort of flowed into this weary head of mine on the way home though...it realli makes me feel sad sometimes....tht we reduce our relationship with God to become such a dry religion...tht we no longer feel his love....tht we no longer experience him....tht church is a duty....tht apart from tht we never seek him....tht we only look to him like a money-God or a study-God...i tink tht we should realli seek him not just when we need him....realli cut the nonsense tht we do each day...i mean ask 4/5 ppl hu got to church and they ll probably tell u they r christian....but as christians...we follow the word...we dwell in his presence....like psalms...we praise him at all times....sometimes we should really look at ourselves n ask r we doing tht....r we only prasing him when we get distinctions and sulking at a corner when we dun...he is our God...all things work together for his purpose....i mean...i dunno bout u ppl....but i tink tht....when we r tired...we look for 3-in-1 coffee....when we r spiritually dry....i tink we need the 3-in-1 of the father, son and holy spirit....dun u tink?

yups...realli did some thinking on the way home...off to cleanse some dirt off my body....heh...i was so tired i thought bus 16 was 14...thank God bus 14 just meant a slighty longer walk home....anyway...prelims over...Os next...i like to thank God....my parents, family, frens for standing by me....u all made tht difference....Thank You so Much!

|cowpoo| 5:25 PM|

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